My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
