I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
