You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
