3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
This is my gift to your gina
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
