I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
OPIZZABONMYDICK
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Randomize
