We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Randomize
