Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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