I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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