I'm lost and stupid without you.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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