Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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