This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
