Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
