I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize