This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
