You just made me feel so damn special
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
