"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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