Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
