hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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