It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
