that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
how drunk are you?
Several
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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