You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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