Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
