had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
