And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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