One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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