ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
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