I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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