you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
