I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
