So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
