I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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