I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
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