And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
