Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
