And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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