Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
She's the barista slut.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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