When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
