This is not my ceiling
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
