At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
