Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
