thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
