Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
PANTIES FOUND
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