He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
