Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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