turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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