I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
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our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize