I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize