ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize