i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
