at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
