College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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