as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
then he tried to convert me to islam
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
