There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I want to be your penis for a week.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
