yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
