walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize