Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
