i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
