There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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