I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
