Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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