he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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