I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize