Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
