its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Randomize
